May 21 2009
Arousal
In many instances women experience arousal as a very positive event. It is described in terms very similar to Orgasm. In many cases arousal does not happen consciously. A woman will see, hear, smell or think about something and get aroused. All of a sudden the will realize that she is aroused.
In younger teenagers, sex play normally have arousal as the goal during ‘making out’. As they get older this goal changes to experiencing intimacy and orgasm, either as a couple or individually. Arousal is the very start of every sexual encounter. Engaging in sexual intercourse without arousal will be almost the equivalent of rape. It will endanger the health of your genitals and most likely result in pain, blood and tearing. Normally arousal is so natural that it occurs automatically without us even realizing it
Often the Arousal phase is preceded by Desire in the descriptions of the sexual response cycle. It is not clear if this is correct for the female sexual response cycle. It is an accurate description for at least some women or some women some of the time. With woman being stimulated and aroused will often create the desire to have sex.
Often a women can get sexually aroused without realizing it immediately, for example when she sees an attractive man or a love scene in a movie or a book. At some stage she will realize that she is wet, hot and swollen.
The Arousal phase can last from a few minutes to a few hours. At the end of the arousal phase the woman may or may not be ready for immediate penetration. Long term arousal is often experienced by young lovers that are fooling around without moving to intercourse. Frequent and long term arousal can cause discomfort because the genitals will not return to their pre arousal state. This is a condition known as ‘blue balls’ by males. It is easily solved by masturbation to orgasm.
Arousal for its own sake is immensely pleasurable. When women describe it, they use the same terms as they use for orgasm. Prolonged and repeated arousal without orgasm is a problem as the genitals and nerves never get back to their at-rest state and you will feel bothered and needing release. This feeling is easilly resolved by having an orgasm through partner sex or masturbation.
The terms used by women to describe arousal are
- Tingly
- Alive
- Warm
- Happy
- Wanting to touch
- Wanting to be touched
- Fullness
- Dampness
- Energy
- Urgency
- Hyper sensitive
- Sensitized
- Swelling
- Physical yearning
The vulva before and after arousal (Attribution: Richiex License)
Desire
When you go through the normal day your mental and physical state is sexually unaroused. All it takes is seeing something, brushing up against something, thinking of something, remembering something that happened, hearing something, smelling something, dreaming a sexy dream or reading a sexy or romantic story to turn your focus to sex. This is part of the magic of being a woman – every woman is turned on by different things.
You begin to contemplate sexual release or desire for sexual contact or you realize that your genitals are getting wet , hot and swollen. This is the normal first step in arousal. Many times you will not even be aware that this is happening and it will pass unnoticed.
This however does not mean that you can immediately go to having intercourse. The genitals are still hugely unprepared and too dry for intercourse. This brings us to the second phase of arousal called excitement.
Excitement
During the excitement phase this arousal phase continue. This is normally not something that happens by itself. This needs concerted effort from you or your partner and touching is normally initiated here. The changes happening during excitement are:
- Tension in the genital muscles start to build
- The heart rate increase and breathing becomes quicker and deeper
- The skin may become flushed due to increased blood flow (patches of redness appear on the chest, neck and back).
- The nipples may become hard and erect
- The blood flow to the genitals keep on increasing with the heart and breathing rate increases, resulting in the opening up of the Vulva due to the swelling of your Clitoris and Labia Minora The Vagina starts to lubricate itself
- The breasts become fuller due to the increase in blood and oxygen
- The vaginal walls begin to swell changing its shape from the collapsed H shape to the round O shape like a fireman’s hose getting filled with water
- Heat starts to build up in the genitals and a throbbing might be felt
The woman can reach the end of the arousal phase and still not be lubricated enough for sex. This is not abnormal. It can happen periodically or be a permanent problem. For that reason many personal lubricants are available from your local pharmacy or convenience store to help you along and provide the lubrication needed.
Problems
The following are problems that can occur during the arousal phase:
Not getting aroused enough or staying in the arousal phase for to short a period of time before continuing to sex. This will lessen the secretion of arousal fluid and lubrication. Sex will be unsatisfactory for the woman as she is not fully prepared and the sex is not built on the solid foundation of the sexual response cycle. Often women need to be aroused to feel desire. These women will often have problems because their partners perceive them to have a low sexual drive as they never initiate sex.
Being hyper aroused because of successive and continual arousal without going further. This leads to a condition that was called Hysteria until 1952. Women would visit their doctors to have their genitals massaged until the “illness” left them. In their oppressed state the medical field and women did not recognize this as orgasm that could be brought on by self-masturbation and hysteria is the reason that vibrators and sex toys are now commonly available.
Some women suffers from Arousal Disorder. Arousal Disorder prevents the lubrication and swelling of the genitals. This is often caused by psychological problems rather than physical problems and medical help should be sought.
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