May 20 2009

Anal Sex

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WARNING: Although it is getting more and more common every year, anal sex is not for everybody. If you are curious about anal sex, read on. If you are not, please just move on to another page. This is not meant for you.

What is Anal Sex

anal sex (noun) – Intercourse via the anus, committed by a man with a man or woman [synonym: sodomy]
WordNet® 3.0. Retrieved March 08, 2009, from website: sex

For this discussion we will ignore male homosexual intercourse which is typically anal sex. We are interested in male/female anal sex only. Anal sex is the insertion of the male penis into the anal orifice of the female. It does not include what would normally described as foreplay where a toy or finger is inserted into the female’s anus.

Why Engage in Anal Sex

There are 3 main reasons why people engage in anal sex:


Anal sex is the thing which you are not supposed to do. Doing it will make you feel dirty and like you are breaking some laws and getting away with it. It is your little secret and it adds spice to your sex life.


Lets face it, the vagina takes various beatings during your lifetime. The biggest one being natural child birth. Using large sex toys, fisting and aging will also cause the vaginal tightness to deteriorate. This will cause your vagina to loose its tightness and reduce your partner’s pleasure.

It will protect the woman’s VIRGINITY and HYMEN and can not get you PREGNANT

Engaging in anal sex does not affect your hymen and will thus not affect the only visible sign of your virginity.


What Do You Need for Anal Sex

Anal sex can hurt you unless you follow a number of guidelines. There are a number of things that you need for Anal Sex:

Preparation – Both you and your partner need to be comfortable with attempting anal sex. If one of you are not comfortable with it or willing to try it, do not do it.

Hygiene – Take a crap before you start, do not eat spicy food, wash very well and do an enema if you are comfortable with doing that. Not keeping anal bacteria away from your vulva and vagina can cause some nasty infection. Use condoms to keep his penis clean. Using a condom also means that you can go from anal sex to vaginal sex by simply taking off the condom and putting on a new one.

Time – Take your time and be patient. Tings can take a very long time.

Arousal – You need to be very aroused to allow your anus to be penetrated.

Relaxation – Your anus is not used for something entering it. The anal sphincter muscles are quite strong and you need to relax them to allow penetration

Lubrication – Unlike the vagina and the penis, the anus and rectum does not make any of its own lubrication. Without lubricant, it will be almost impossible to enter your anus. Anal lubricants should be used. Normal vaginal lubricant are too light, especially water based lubricants. The anus is actually the one safe place where petroleum jelly (‘Vaseline’) can be safely used, unless your male partner is using a latex condom.

Control – It is best to have a partner that you trust. If you ask him to stop, he should be willing to honor your wishes.

STDs – Anal sex can be more dangerous than vaginal sex when it comes to anal sex. Because it is so tight, it is likely that small micro tears will happen, and that increases your risk for an STD to transmit.

The Statistics

The trend is that the numbers are doubling every 10 years.

According to the 2010 National Sex Survey:

  • 20% of women aged 18 to 19 had at least one episode of anal sex
  • 40% of women aged 20 to 24 had at least one episode of anal sex

Is this a single experimental episode? Apparently not.

  • 20% of women age 20 to 40 report having anal sex in the last year
  • 7% report having anal sex in the last month
  • Between 3 and 4% of surveyed women reports anal sex during their last sexual encounter. 94% of these women had an orgasm (vs. 65% from vaginal sex and 81% from oral sex)

When looking at women in relationships:

  • 20% of  partnered women aged 18-24 had anal sex in the previous 90 days.
  • 16% of partnered women aged 30-39 had anal sex in the previous 90 days
  • 30% of women aged 30 – 39 who were cohabiting but unmarried had anal sex in the previous 90 days

Since there is still a stigma to anal sex, these numbers are very likely lower than in reality.

Why does people engage in Anal Sex?

· Painful vaginal sex

· Sex during menstrual period

· Protect hymen

· Anus tighter than vagina

· Prevents pregnancy (Birth Control method)

· The thrill of forbidden sex

The majority of women believe that men want anal sex because their anus is tighter than their vagina. This is partly true, but the main reason why men want anal sex is because of the thrill of doing something that is considered forbidden in society. Another reasons is to have sex and still protect the female partner’s hymen. This is a technical virginity because the woman is no longer sexually pure. Vaginal sex can be painful and anal sex may be the only form of sex that the woman can tolerate.

The human species are the only specie on earth that engages in anal sex. This may be because anal sex increase risk for physical injury, poses a health risk because of infections and does not contribute to continuing the species.

Anal How-To

A few things should be said before you start:

1. The anus is very muscular and have a small opening. The anus has a double sphincter muscle.

2. The anus is dirty and bacteria filled

3. The anus does not have any lubricating glands and no natural lubrication

These 3 facts already show you the way:

1. The anus needs to be stretched systematically. Once you are fully aroused, start with a finger, then two fingers, maybe a small anal toy. Make sure you are relaxed and lubricated. You can do this for a few days before trying inserting a penis. When you are ready to try a penis, first insert a finger or two, then try a well lubricated penis very slowly, a little bit deeper every few pushes.

2. The anus needs to be cleaned properly and extra steps needs to be taken not to spread bacteria to the genitals

3. Lube, lube lube

The chances are slim that a woman will enjoy or even allow anal penetration if she is not highly aroused and sexually aroused. The best way is for the woman to start highly relaxed. A long warm bath will serve to relax her as well as clean the anal area from bacteria. She should also wash the area with her finger. The anus does not have a pH balance that needs to be preserved like the vagina and vulva, so soap can be used.

After this a great deal of foreplay is needed. Massage, oral sex and ‘fingering’ can be used to arouse her. Prolonging this phase by bringing her close to orgasm and keeping her there for a while can be helpful.

Start by inserting something small into the anus. It should be noted that sex toys for anal penetration have special characteristics. Unlike the vagina, the anus will ‘swallow’ a toy and draw it deeper and deeper into the body. If you do not want to explain to the emergency room nurse how the toy got into you, DO NOT use normal vaginal toys. Use an anal toy with a collar to prevent it from fully entering you.

Anal toys have either a wide enough collar that will prevent the collar from entering the anus or have a rope tied to it so that it can be pulled back. Typically an anal toy is a dildo/dong, a butt plug or a string of balls, not a vibrator.

One type of toy is a butt plug. This is a short wide tool with a wide collar. It is inserted into the anus and left there during vaginal sex and stimulation

Another type is anal beads. These are balls (normally of different sizes going from small to large) connected by string or plastic. These balls end with a large one that cannot enter the anus and it does have a loop attached to it so that it can be pulled out. These balls are ideal for stretching the anus systematically as it starts small and increase in size systematically. Some strings of anal beads are stiff and can be pushed into the anus from one end. Others are connected via a string and each ball needs to be pushed in with the finger.

Anal dildos or dongs have a large collar or base, or they have a loop or handle at the end to hook and hold the toy. These toys can be straight or curved but are almost always smooth. It can vary in width across its length.

Another type of anal stimulator it the three way stimulator with a clitoral, vaginal and anal stimulator.

Whenever possible, a condom should be used with the toy to keep infections out of the rectum and keep toys clean.


Why Does Men Find Anal Sex Exciting?

A poll was done between women and men. The following options were given:

  • Tighter than the Vagina
  • Forbidden Excitement
  • Uncommon and Exciting
  • Different Muscle Control and Sensations
  • Men feels more dominant
  • Men does not find vaginal sex pleasurable
  • It provides a flattering view of partner

The results showed a gender difference and the answers show that women misunderstands the motivations of men seeking anal intercourse:

  • Women think men like anal sex because:
    • The anus is tighter than the vagina
    • Different muscle control and sensations
  • Men like it because:
    • It is a forbidden excitement
    • it is uncommon and exciting

It is clear that women think that men like it because of the feelings and physical attributes. Men think it is about the forbidden excitement.


1. Accidental anal intercourse: does it really happen? - Norfolk GA. Journal of Clinical Forensic Medicine 2005 Feb;12(1):1-4. Epub 2004 Dec 9. PubMed PMID: 15763681.

2. An Event-Level Analysis of the Sexual Characteristics and Composition Among Adults Ages 18 to 59: Results from a National Probability Sample in the United States. Journal of Sexual Medicine, 7: 346–361. doi: 10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.02020.x by Herbenick, D., Reece, M., Schick, V., Sanders, S. A., Dodge, B. and Fortenberry, J. D. (2010)

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