Jul 20 2014

Having sex is very painful?

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As a general rule, sex should not be painful. Sex is a pleasurable thing, or at the very worse, does not feel like much.

There is a difference between having temporary pain and discomfort, and having long term issues. it is for example expected to have some pain and discomfort for a few times when

* You lose your virginity
* Due to rough and hard sex
* With a new partner
* When having a lot of sex all of a sudden
* After menopause
* After child birth
* When you have an infection

If you take it slow, make sure you are fully aroused before insertion, make sure you stay fully lubricated, and skip a few days to give yourself time to heal, the discomfort and pain should just disappear.

Longer term pain is however much more serious. It can prevent you from becoming sexual in your relationship and it can stop you from becoming pregnant.

The causes of painful sex are very seldomly straight forward. Medical science knows how to treat it, but does not know what caused it in the first place.

There are two regular types of pain:

* Vulvodynia (pain in the vulva)
* Vaginusmus (pain in the vagina)

Vulvodynia is when your vulva becomes very sensitive to touch. It is thought to happen when the nerve endings becomes inflamed. It can be from an infection, trauma to the area, or for no apparent reason. Your doctor will test for it by spreading your inner lips and touching the area with an ear bud to see where you have pain.

Treatment for vulvodynia is not as straight forward. Your doctor will ask you to change your underwear, washing powder, soap, feminine highgiene products, what you wear to bed, how you clean after going to the toilet. She can ask you to change your habits sitting and standing. She can prescribe some numbing gell for sex.

Vaginismus is a much more treatable condition. Vaginismus is where you cannot be penetrated because one or more of the three rings of muscles around your vagina involunts=ary contracts and close the hole. It is very often described as ‘hitting a wall’ during penetration.

The common causes are pshycological, rather than physical. Wome that are afraid of penetration pain, that knows of stories where first time sex was very painful or came with a lot of blood are very susseptable. For this reason it is often found in families where the mom, or sister had issues with penetration.

Women with vaginismus often have problems with inserting tampons or their finger and genital exams are almost impossible.

Your doctor will ask you questions and then examine you to see how servere is. If it is to the point where they cannot examine you, she may suggest anesthesia to be able to fully examine you. The reason for the examination is to make sure there are no physical and anatomical issues, and to find out which of the 3 sets of muscles are closing down. Your doctor will also determine the severity. Your partner will be encouraged to attend this examination and help if that is what you want.

Once your doctor determined which muscles and the severity, you will be placed under sedation, botox will be injected into the faulty muscles and a dilator will be inserted into your vagina. The dilator will be kept in for a few days for your muscles to develop a memory of being stretched and opened up. You and your partner will attend a little bit of sex therapy to make sure you both understand how sex and sexual response works.You will be told how to handle dilators, and you will likely use dilators regularly for the next few months.

This treatment of vaginismus is very successful. The biggest issue is finding a doctor that will take it seriously. Unfortunately most doctors grew up in an era where these types of issues were considered to be all in your head and untreatable. From these doctors you will often hear to just relax, or just take the pain, or even getting so drunk that you lose control of those muscles and then have sex.

If you hve any problems being taken seriously, find your country’s Vaginusmus Society and ask for a doctor in your area.

Category: Body, Growing Up, Sex
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