Jan 05 2011

How Do I Masturbate

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This might sound like a really stupid question. You might not think that there are women out there that does not know how to masturbate, but remember that every girl have to start somewhere. Typically masturbation is a very private activity, so it is often not included in sexual health education, and seldom talked about. Most women will not admit to masturbating. In younger generations, this changed somewhat and girls will now admit to masturbation. Add to this the fact that sexual information is not freely available in every community, and that there are places where women and girls do not openly discuss sex.

Every one of us started to masturbate at some stage of our life. Many of us discovered masturbation’s pleasures purely by chance. Because masturbation is such a private and personal experience, may girls are wondering if they are normal.

Here we will be trying to answer these questions. It does not matter if you are in puberty, a teenager, a young woman, a young mother, a middle aged woman or already post menopausal, this guide is for you. It does not matter if you do not know how to masturbate or just want to figure out if you are normal, this guide is for you.

Sexual Urges

Humans are sexual beings. Sexual urges are a normal day to day occurrence for everybody. If you do not have them, there is something wrong with you. Babies have been observed masturbating and orgasming in their mother’s wombs during ultrasound scans. Young kids will often discover masturbation on their own, and masturbate in public, much to their parents shame. After puberty a woman will have a monthly hormone cycle that ensure that she seeks sexual contact when she is fertile. This is Mother Nature’s way of ensuring that she produce offspring. Unfortunately this sexual cycle is often disturbed by modern medicines and the stress and tribulations of modern life.

Body Image

Everybody has body image problems. The most beautiful people often have the worst body image. We all have something (or a lot) we do not like about our bodies. It is however important that we learn to accept and love the body we have. It is important to realize that individual tastes differ from person to person. It does not matter if you want to be thinner, fatter, shorter, longer, tighter, or taller, there are men that find you irresistible just the way you are, despite what you are thinking. When you masturbate it is not the time to worry about your body. It is private time for you and you can imagine anything you want to.

It is important to recognize that you were created as a sexual being. You have natural urges, wants and needs that will ensure that the human race survives. This is natural. There is nothing wrong with your urges or with masturbation. Masturbation is one of the best and safest way to deal with your urges. And it gives you the full benefit of orgasms without having to engage in risky or illegal behavior.

Prepare

  • It is important that you are comfortably seated, reclining or laying on your back. A couch, chair, bath, on a carpet or a bed is the ideal venue
  • You need to be ensured of your privacy. Lock your door, or do it in the bathroom where you will not be disturbed
  • Make sure your feet is warm. Wear socks if you have to. (This is not a joke – MAKE SURE YOUR FEET ARE WARM)
  • You have to know that this is totally natural. There is absolutely nothing wrong with masturbation. Young baby girls do it naturally, young girls do it naturally and millions of older girls and women do it. The chances are very good that your mom, sisters, aunts and friends are masturbating regularly. It is not something we brag about, but it is also not something to be ashamed about. Do not equate ‘private’ wit ‘shameful’ and ‘embarassing’
  • If you are stimulated by visual material or fantasies, have some ready

Understand your genitals

Your sexual pleasure is centered around your clitoris. Despite everything you have seen on TV and the movies, read in romantic novels or woman’s magazines, or heard your friends say, your clitoris is the organ that make you orgasm. The clitoris have no other functions. Its only function is sexual pleasure with the goal of giving you an incredible orgasm. It is filled with an unbelievable amount of nerve endings. If you do not know where your clitoris is, look at the photo below, get a mirror and find your own clitoris.

Even though you can only see the tip of your clitoris (the head or glans), the clitoris glans is only the small tip of the clitoral complex that stretches inside your body for about 7 inches (17 cm). The main part of the clitoral complex is the bulbs. The clitoral bulb looks like a Y with the tip representing the clitoral glans and the two legs of the Y making a u-turn to run under your vulva towards the anus. The bulbs run under your vulva, around your vaginal entrance. Stimulating the area around and just inside your vaginal entrance can give you an orgasm.

The Goal

The goal of masturbation is to reach orgasm. Very few woman will masturbate if they do not reach orgasm. It is plain and simple. While you may have sex for other reasons, masturbation is all about your orgasm and your enjoyment.

Get Aroused

When you masturbate, you will go through all the stages of your sexual response cycle, exactly the same phases as during intercourse. Masturbation is thus the ideal and safe place where you can learn about your body, your sexuality, and where you can experiment. In order for you to reach orgasm, you have to start somewhere. Arousal is normally the first step. You can read a sexy book, look at a sexy boy, man or woman, watch your favorite actor or love scene on video or TV, or just think of that guy you want to go out with. The first thing you will notice is that your vagina gets wet and feel swollen. This is because blood is pumped into your genitals and fluid is squeezed out of the vaginal lining because of this. The vagina begins to swell up, get warmer, and get wet.

 

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Normal Sexual Response Cycle

Where do I touch myself?

Your body has a number of erogenous zones. For orgasm, your vulva is the most likely spot. Even though you can also stimulate other parts of your body like your chest, breasts, nipples, buttocks and neck.

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Erogenous Zones

1 – Clitoris. Tease, rub, stroke, suck, squeeze, tap and vibrate your clitoris.

2 – Vaginal entrance – rub around and inside the rim. Stick something smooth and clean inside, a finger or a sex toy.

3 – The vulva floor and inner labia (minora) – rub and stroke this area gently. A massage stroke can be used to stimulate the clitoral complex under the vulva floor

4 – The urethra exit (pee hole) – make sure everything is very clean. Rubbing this area can cause bladder infections (UTIs). The area around this hole can be very very sensitive to touch (U Spot)

5 – Anus- Do not use anything that touched the anus around your vulva and vagina before washing it. If you do not wash it first, it can cause bacterial, yeast and UTI infections. The anus is rich in nerve endings and can be very nice to rub around the rim. You can even put a finger inside. Do not insert any toys that were not made for anal play here. You do not want to explain to the doctor in the ER why you have a pen in your insides.

Technique

As discussed elsewhere, your clitoris is your primary sex organ. This does not mean that there is no pleasure to be had from your vulva, vagina, anus or breasts. But these are in addition to your clitoris, or advanced techniques. Your clitoris is your “orgasm button”.

Your clitoris is super sensitive. You should not touch it directly. It should be touched through the clitoris hood and skin around it. When you are very aroused and wet, you can try to touch your clitoris with the pall of your finger in small and light touches. But to start off, rub around, over, across or next to your clitoris. Use one finger, a few fingers or the palm of your hand. You can also squeeze it between your fingers, press on it or tap on it. Do whatever feels good.

If you are dry, use some of the fluids from your vagina, saliva or store bought personal lubricant to keep your clitoris shiny and slippery.

Pull the skin with one had and rub with the other hand.

Your inner lips may become very sensitive and pleasurable to touch. Rub your finger around your vaginal entrance where there are quite a few nerve endings, rub lightly around your anus, squeeze, press or rub your nipples and breasts, smack your behind Do whatever it takes to increase your arousal.

If you become super sensitive, do not worry. Move the stimulation elsewhere for a few seconds, your breasts, your behind, pinch your nipples, rub your fingers between and outside your inner lips. Then return to your clitoris.

In the plateau phase of your response cycle it can feel as if nothing is happening and/or you become numb. Concentrate on the feelings in your body and clitoris. Make your arousal levels increase and increase. Do not give up. You can change positions, try other erogenous zones. Your clitoris and vulva will keep on sending signals to your brain.

 

 

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The sensitive area that should be stimulated during masturbation

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